How to Tell your girlfriend's son you are dating his Mother

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

It is not difficult to do if you plan it out correctly.

Steps

1. Plan how you are going to do it. You might want to write a letter or you might want to talk to him directly. This depends on the age of the son. If he is old enough, you can talk to him as he is in a better position to understand you.
   
2. Develop a friendship with him. This is important as only then he can be comfortable while you talk to him.
   
3. Identify how the son's relationship is with his mother. Is he very close to her? Is he possesive about her? This can be found out by talking to his mother (i.e., your girlfriend).
   
4. If the son is close to his mother, it is quite possible that he can't digest such a relationship fast enough. If this is the case, let the mother speak to him first about this. That would make it easier to convince him.
   
5. Explain to him, how you and his mother feel lonely and you need each other. Be very honest here and tell each and every reason you want his mother for.
   
6. If he revolts, both you and his mother must try to convince him by talking to him either in person or together.
   

Tips

• Make the son a part of your party-time. If you and his mother go out, offer to take him with you. This will have the effect that he will see you as a good person.
  
• Never argue with the son and don't try to direct him. He has more right on his mother than you do.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Tell Your Girlfriend's Son You are Dating His Mother. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to survive as a young Single Mother

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Being a single mom is hard enough... but being young, single, and broke can sometimes feel overwhelming. Here are some ideas to keep you afloat:

Steps

1. Wake up every morning with a plan already in place for what you need to accomplish for that day.
   
2. Analyze what your priorities are to help make this plan a reality (i.e getting the kids) to school, getting yourself to work, deciding what to make for dinner, getting needed items from the store, helping children with homework, etc.)
   
3. Once a week, pick and stick with the same day and write down a plan for what you need to get done for the week ahead. Write down work schedule, school schedules, bills and the due dates, for example.
   
4. Keep these schedules for a quick reference throughout the day and week.
   

Tips

• Don't be too hard on yourself, as being the best mom you can be for your children's future is the task at hand. You won't be poor and alone forever if you stay positive and motivated.
  
• Do your best to get child support from the father.
  
• Use the internet and local social service agency (if you don't have home access, go to the library) to seek information about receiving benefits. Even the lowest amount is helpful.
  
• Don't think that you are above receiving charity. When you are in a better stage in your life, you can choose to be picky. Accept all help when you can get it. Remember to help others once you are able.
  
• Try not to let your children know that you are struggling. They will know of your troubles, they don't need to feel insecure as well.
  
• Don't quit a job until you find another one, no matter how much you hate it.
  
• Don't give up! Life won't be this bad forever. Make a financial plan, stick to it, and live day by day. Thinking too far ahead can leave you feeling you may never catch up and you will lose motivation.
  
• Save every dime.
  
• Expand your education at every opportunity.
  
• Reduce feelings of being overwhelmed by compartmentalizing your problems. This means that you look at each one by itself, instead of looking at all of them at once.
  

Warnings

• Do not fall in love with men if they do not like kids. You can't change their mind. Some people just know when they are uncomfortable around children and you don't want these people around anyway. Your children don't deserve to be unhappy and neither do you.
  
• If you do find a man who enjoys children, don't depend on him to save you. He could be hit by a car tomorrow and then where would you be? Depend on yourself even if things seem secure.
  
• Do not have another baby until you can afford it. If you always wanted four kids but you can only afford one, you might have to change plans to provide for your child.
  
• If you do get bogged down with pressures of being poor, single and a parent, do not take it out on your kids. They feel the pressure too.
  

Things You'll Need

• Tissues
  
• Friends and family to talk to
  
• Open ears- to find out about resources in your area
  
• Hugs from your kids- so that you remember what your priorities are
  
• Internet access
  
• Knowledge of you local social service benefits
  
• Lawyer, if possible
  
• As much education as possible
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Survive as a Young Single Mother. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to be a Good Mother

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

There's already a lot to cover when learning how to be the best parent you can be. But there are certain challenges a mother faces as a parent that are distinct from those of being a father. Here's how to overcome them and raise your child(ren) well.

Steps

1. Be patient. Being a mother is a little challenging sometimes, especially if you have a daughter. But keep your cool and try to stay patient. Your' daughter snuck into your room and put on your makeup? Explain to her the practical reasons why she shouldn't do this, such as hygiene, clogging pores, etc. Then tell her why you don't like her doing it- she'll muck up her skin at this young age, this is your makeup, etc. Try this approach to other problems. Stay calm, explain the practical reasons not to do something, and then why YOU don't want them to do something.
   
2. Take an interest in your child's interests. If your son likes cars, maybe buy him a model car he can make. Ask questions, like what is your favourite type of car, which model is that car, etc. If your daughter is interested in animals, buy her something like a magazine for animals, and tell her some interesting sites and books she can look at. Ask her what her favourite animal is, info about animals, etc. Make an effort.
   
3. Don't be tight about money. Okay, so blowing money day after day isn't the best thing to do, but don't automatically say no to everything your kid asks for. If you always say no and follow this with a lecture about saving money, you will be known as the "Tight Parent", the one who never buys anything. Buy something small every now and then. Even offering to purchase some candy or chips at the petrol station can make a difference. Every now and then buy something big that you are sure your kid wants. For example, an i-pod, or a bike. And be generous at birthdays. This can include taking a special day to go out to dinner, see a movie, and choose a nice gift or receive nice gifts from parents.
   
4. Make sure you are an approachable person to talk to. Try your hardest to always be understanding and a good listener. Knowing that they can go to their mum for friendship advice, information on sex and puberty, homework help, or just a hug goes a long way for kids. Not having someone they can talk to can cause kids to retire into a shell, so make sure you talk to them about how they feel regularly.
   
5. Be supportive, and never laugh at your kids hobbies, interests or friends. So, your son doesn't want to study medicine and become a doctor? Don't get angry, this is your childs' life and they can make some of their own decisions. Understand that it's okay if your child thinks differently from you. Don't get mad because they have a different opinion to you, or your son wants to become an engineer and not a doctor. Don't laugh at them, or their friends. Who cares if you daughter listens to heavy metal music and wears too much eyeliner? She's still your daughter. And so what if your son is friends with a guy who speaks in a funny accent or who has a different skin color? You might not do what your kids do, but that is their decision, not yours. You have a big impact on their lives already-you choose what school they go to, when they eat dinner, the amount of pocket money they get for doing chores. Don't over do it.
   
6. Be able to admit that something you did may have been wrong and don't be afraid to apologize. It might be hard, but it's better for everyone if you just admit to your mistakes and apologize. It saves everyone the trouble of being mad that you're being stubborn and teaches your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, as well as the importance of an apology. Simply calm yourself, evaluate the situation, determine what you did wrong and why. Then apologize and explain how or why you acted the way you did. A good way to start off may be: "I would like to apologize for how I acted earlier, and I realize that I was wrong," then transition into the rest.
   

Tips

• Help your child with their homework. Not only will you know what they're doing in school, but your child will probably start coming to you for help by themselves.
  
• Spend quality time with your child. Play ball with your son or do a craft project with your daughter. And make sure you have fun.
  
• Take your child out to museums, the theatre, classical music concerts, and other cultural events. While they may not like it at the time, they will most likely be grateful when they are older that they have a more well-rounded background.
  
• Always be supportive and accepting.
  
• Always try to be fair.
  
• Don't use the phrase, "I carried you for 9 months!" in an argument. Your kids will most likely not understand what you actually had to go through, and it won't be really effective.
  
• A few other observations from another perspective:
  
• Parents need to teach their children how to be successful adults. Don't routinely do things for your children that they can learn to do for themselves.
  
• Life is a great teacher. Don't be too quick to rescue your child from the results of their own actions if the consequences are not overly severe.
  
• Your child is an individual deserving of respect, not an extension or a reflection of you.
  
• Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Be a Good Mother. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

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